Monday, September 29, 2008

Soundtrack To Another Country

It's quite possible that everything I've done has been done so as to be cut up into scenes. These scenes could then be rearranged to fit with a soundtrack. Preferably something French. I've always felt the French were more emotionally endowed. Maybe I mean The Europeans. I guess I mean Scandinavians.

There was this one scene the other day. I was sitting in an office with glass walls which really made me conscious of my chronic nose-picking habit. When I though Chronic I think I may have made a mistake in language. There are books about this. They call it Manifestation. So I thought Chronic and I Manifested something else. Somewhere in my brain some neurons sparked to life at the same time I thought Chronic and they said Eye Thing.

I got Eye Thing for the first time in India and I thought Hot Compress. This helped me to Un-Manifest, which is in and of itself also Manifest. Manifest and Compress worked together and I got better. This time, this time with my finger up my nose, Eye Thing latched onto Self-Conscious and together they got red and swollen and sore. I didn't swear. Well I did, in my brain, but I don't think anyone was listening, at least not Eye Thing. Self-Conscious might have heard though. Actually, I'm pretty sure he did.

Right now, right while I'm writing this but not right while you're reading this, I'm sitting at home watching The L Word. I didn't leave the apartment today because Self-Conscious needed some one-on-one time. Instead I spent the day doing everyone's laundry. It was just my roommates' so I don't mean EVERYONE, but there weren't enough hangers. It took me a long time and I forgot to cook them dinner and now, right now, they feel like Everyone.

In the fragile time between hanging and switching and folding and hanging Everyone's laundry I paused The L Word. This made the time less fragile. This made me feel Different. Not different as in, wow this is completely new, different as in wow this is the me I keep trying to find. I lost Different somewhere back home and I thought that maybe he went travelling so I went travelling, too. Now Different and I are living in China. We even share a bed.

With The L Word not there to converse with Self-Conscious Different got a little bigger. Different really wanted to Be. Who wouldn't? I opened a chat window on the internet and worked with Different to talk to a friend in Norway. Her name is Line. Some people read that and think it's like a line you draw on a piece of paper. I, Different and I, both feel that we shouldn't let people think that. So don't think that. Think leenah instead. You probably feel a little bit more worldly now. Me, too.

I told Lina about a band that will be playing here soon. We agreed that Shining was pretty good. They have a really different sound. Some people call them jazz or heavy metal or electro. I think they sound like a soundtrack. I even have a good idea about a scene or two they would work well with.

6 comments:

Lana said...

Kaare.
You and your thoughts are an ocean. The words you've typed on the page - they are the waves. Gently carrying me through your note, lulling me and entrancing me. Nice job.

It's good to hear that you caught up with Different and that your bed isn't so empty at night.

samantha said...

I agree with Lana, it's comforting to hear that you've found Different. Some people spend their entire lives seeking One. Strangely I feel that I left One behind when I returned home from travelling. That I'm now left with One piece less then what I began with.

Strange.

ps. The L word is awesome.

kaare.iverson said...

Yeah, I was sincerely worried that One had got away. Especially so after India. I felt like that place just took me apart like Lego blocks and I was left looking for the instructions to put myself back together.

In the end I just had to give up and go on memory...but I still had all these new colours and shapes to add...that was the hard part. Where does everything fit?

FollowTheElephant said...

Smile.
...
Also, I like that your writing style is evolving or that you're trying new things.
...
P.s. Glad to hear you made up with Diff.

kaare.iverson said...

Please, I clearly stole this style straight off of Miranda July...slightly personalised for sure, but hot damn, I sure can't claim credit for it...

samantha said...

I'm not sure if everything will fit. It's all apart of the process, figuring out what bits to keep, and what to forget,going back and picking up pieces, making new ones..to create the constant changing masterpiece.

More and more I keep realizing, it's never going to make sense. And that what makes it all the more beautiful.